We all experience loss in life. I’d like to think that what we write can keep the memories alive of those we love. This is a poem dedicated to Justin. I’ve never been the same since you left this earth but I know we’ll meet again in that heavenly place where all pain and sorrow are forgotten. RIP Justin. 1973 - 2017
The hardest thing I had to do
Said no to love the oh so true
Our love crashed down
Like tumbling waves
I longed to be with you, to cave
But time just wasn’t right for us
As kindred spirits chasing love
Perhaps a different space and time
You certainly would have been mine
The smell of bay rum in the air
An aftershave you used to wear
Your barber client in the chair
Direct your comb a snip of hair
As though you’re home
You took such care
You stood up straight
The mirror stared
Like magic, waved your hands with flair
A warm embracing smile you’d wear
The dancing of your fingers grooved
Were in the air and on the move
You waved your hands in such a way
As though you made the music play
Conductor with a wand and wave
Your rhythm gave another sway
His voice is deep I still remember
Laughter that it always rendered
I’d look into his caring eyes
Of wonder as he’d gaze in mine
Two weeks in he gave a grin
A smile that warmed my soul within
A drummer he had always been
A rhythm, how he pulled me in
We spoke as though we’d always known
Each other, like two old souls grown
Our voices danced with such delight
I overflowed a glistening sight
A friend then snapped a picture just
To draw a heart it captured us
The moment that we fell in love
A treasured loving memory of
A rush of red rose in my cheeks
I do a dance with shuffled feet
My heart it turns to skip a beat
Embarrassed I can’t keep discreet
I try to stop it yes I do
But just when I think it’s subdued
Another wave a warm embrace
Engulfs right back into my face
I walk away on full display
My smile beams as sunny days
A twenty minute drive away
I can’t stop blushing warmth it stays
I’ve never felt like this before
Connection felt it makes me soar
Fly high a bird I take my flight
As messages bring my delight
My fingers tap my phone screen app
My thumbs they pitter patter pat
I smile away each word he said
Our talk it swirls around my head
Like twitter-pated spring birds fly
Our souls connect we’re on a high
It’s up and up the clouds we go
Exhilarating love it flows
Our glances though they seemed so small
Spoke of our love and told it all
The whispers up and down the hall
Made fun with all their playful calls
They’ll be married mark my words
And oh the whispers that were stirred
Our joyful hearts flew as twin birds
In unison our joy was heard
Inside I felt a still small voice
It isn’t time, but it’s your choice
Why can’t I sing and just rejoice
This can’t be someone to avoid
Please don’t make me give him up
The one that I’ve been dreaming of
His soul is beautiful I know
Our love could be so great and grow
As time went on the colors gleamed
The ones that we could not have seen
I didn’t know what it could mean
As perfect as our love did seem
the hardest thing I had to do
said no to love the oh so true
Our love crashed down
Like tumbling waves
I longed to be with you, to cave
And still we spoke as loving folk
The tears they fell and grabbed my throat
I told you of a dream I dreamt
That you were there our love content
Oh to dream of paradise
But when I opened up my eyes
It all was wrong for you were gone
All I could do was cry
My thumbs they pattered
As I told you of the dream that day
I read the words you reassured
I won’t be gone, okay
I wrote a song for you to say
how much you meant to me this way
That now my soul was sad and frayed
For separation color grayed
I listened to the still small voice
But now a broken heart I hoist
As if a roof that has no joist
I gave up love, the hardest choice
I shared my heart and I’m so glad
I shared my love and all I had
I wore your love as linen clad
For when I got the news so sad
That Heaven gained my love now lost
to paradise a heavy cost
In anguish now my soul is tossed
‘Tween joyful memories and a loss
A void appeared there in my soul
It’s shaped like you an empty hole
Where did my loving beauty go?
My heart is tossed it’s to and fro
To hear you I would just rejoice
I try to call to hear your voice
I hear a click and just a noise
I hear the beep and lose my poise
I replay songs reminding me
Of who it was you used to be
I pull my pillow and my knees
Warm tears falling broken ease
I hold my pillow oh so tight
I pull it close with all my might
If only I could make it right
As though I could have saved your life
My thumbs they pattered
As I scroll to read our messages of old
I read the words you reassured
Your words now rent my soul
On full display that loving day
The words you wrote to me to say
The dream I dreamt you went away
You said I won’t be gone, okay
I feel my gut it lurches up
It keeps coming in waves
You didn’t know that you would go
You wouldn’t get to stay
Our twitter-pated love belated
Left me so intoxicated
But just as nights of drinking end
The pulsing pain tomorrow bends
Around the could and should have beens
The sorrow, love, and guilt it blends
Goodbye for now
I’ll miss you friend
I’ll see you on the river bends
For when the music starts and ends
I know that I’ll see you again
The hardest thing I had to do
Said no to love the oh so true
Our love crashed down
Like tumbling waves
I longed to be with you, to cave
But time just wasn’t right for us
As kindred spirits chasing love
Perhaps a different space and time
You certainly would have been mine