Happy Father’s Day : Letter From The Daughter of a Narcissist 


Dear Dad, 

You were wrong about me. 

I didn’t become a promiscuous bar girl. I didn’t run away with alcohol. I didn’t turn to the devil like you said I would. Tattoos didn’t send me down a bad path or change my character. All the friends you said would never be there for me bailed me out after we parted ways. I wasn’t a defiant child, I was an adult being pressured to remain a child. 

I’m sorry I had to leave you. It was one of the most painful decisions I had to make. I really am so much happier now and have grown so much over the last 4 years since I left. Thank you for all the lessons you taught me, the laughter, the gigs we played over the years. Thank you for being my Dad in that season. I missed you during my childhood since I hardly saw you. I dreamed of the day I’d get to be close with my Dad and finally had my dream come true. It was good for a while until I failed to be the daughter you wanted. Most dreams are only meant for limited seasons in life and my dream ended 4 years ago. 

I’ve had new hope since then. I get to spend time with my siblings I’d pushed away to make you happy, I’ve made friends in recovery who love me like Jesus does. I’ve now become a wife to someone you would only half approve of but I’m happy and that’s what matters. I hope and pray for you and hope you are happy today. I hope it’s a happy Father’s day for you. You are my earthly father and teacher but my ultimate Father is in Heaven waiting for me at the gates when He calls me home. I miss you Dad, I hope you are well and have found peace in your life. It’s through Jesus that I have. 


I hope this letter I’ve written can give hope to anyone who has had to make the painful decision to cut out their father, mother, or any other family members from their life. You’re not a bad person, a bad Christian, or less of a human being for making such a hard decision to cut out people who are not good for you. Forgiveness can coexist even if you choose to leave permanently. To leave a narcissist is to lose yourself and all that is dear to you. The years of demeaning accusations play over and over amplified in the mind. The life you used to know is obliterated and you are left to create a new identity apart from the one that was created for you by the narcissist. There is life after narcissistic abuse. It is excruciating to go through something like this. If that is the case for you, I truly feel for you my friend. To all who share with this struggle God Bless and Happy Father’s Day. 

Much Love Fam.

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